not going to change

There is nothing that you can say or do to me that will make me stop loving you
No matter what I will always want to be around you.
I don't need anyone or anything
I'm OK with being alone.

So don't think I just want to be with somebody, anybody
I prefer your body

I will never  fight you
but I will fight with you
against them... that... those...
I will fight for you
through your fear and doubt

All the pretty girls you kissed before
will fall away
like ash
like yesterday

Then I will be there still waiting for you to catch up
to come up and stand beside me
to come up and stand in happiness

but after waiting for so long
there will be another person
that will find my tenacity appealing
and I will settle for him
and he will make me smile

but I will always think of you
and wonder if
you ever really knew
how thick these emotions have grown

So even then there will be nothing that has stopped me from loving you
no man
no suns, no moons
I am scared that I will always feel this way

thank You God

like stars shine without even knowing that they are beautiful to us.
flowers blooming on a branch because, it's  just their time.
Tha'ts how my love is.

automatic.
and even as much as I'd like to shift gears
I keep driving into this soft, graceful place.

You are my oxygen
I can breathe underwater
but I need to come up sometimes

You are my  rest
I can go all night and not shut an eye
but I need to lay and relax sometimes

I love You because You are You.

I am not a monster, I am not the dark,

What is there to fear?
That I would squeeze the air from your chest as we hugged?

That I should suck the life from you as we kissed?
That I should take your sight when I looked into your eyes?

That your voice would escape you if you told me that you cared?

What is there to fear?

Would I paralyze you as I wrapped my legs around yours at night?
Would your hands seize into unusable fists if I put my fingers between yours?
Would your hair fall from unto the floor if you laid your head on me?

What is there to fear?
I dont think your family would disown you if I came to dinner.
I dont think your house would catch on fire if I stayed for more than the night.
I dont think you would go broke if you bought me a bouquet of flowers.

What is there to fear, my dear?
What makes you stand back from me?

say a prayer, find a cure, ask for help
I'll walk you through the steps. of letting go. of phobias

There is nothing to fear but fear itself

I. am here. I am not a bumping thing in the night
We can do this together. I am safety, security.
Don't be scared

in presence

Im glad I found God again so that I dont have to live through tortured evenings anymore.
made new by hot tools used to burn and straighten out
Tips of toes
soft of palms
curling eyelashes
all made new

There were certain things missing from me
but I have gained them all back now.