If I am Earth
at this moment, I am spinning in the proper direction
soft moist black soil ready for seed
touched by a planter with soft strong hands
pulled apart to make room
surely I can hold the weight of this man.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Today we lived
burning sun tucked behind skinny branches
swelling black asphalt pulls into the giving ground
breezes smooth over lips
baby fingers on mother lips, on mothers breast
for this the grass lays and gives way
at the weight of natures most delicate force
flowers sense the moon pulling close
shiver as they creep backwards into green
songs of insect wings pile chirps of birds
low hum of things going into quite
sweet call of trees collecting air
Evening is sliding into open windows
flesh moves slow and curious underneath glass
alive.
swelling black asphalt pulls into the giving ground
breezes smooth over lips
baby fingers on mother lips, on mothers breast
for this the grass lays and gives way
at the weight of natures most delicate force
flowers sense the moon pulling close
shiver as they creep backwards into green
songs of insect wings pile chirps of birds
low hum of things going into quite
sweet call of trees collecting air
Evening is sliding into open windows
flesh moves slow and curious underneath glass
alive.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Don Cornelius? For Real Though
So, no one else is going to say it huh? Well, whatever. I'm not all "RIP... Aw, that's soooo sad" in regards to the death of Don Cornelius. The man was 75 years old at that point you can just wait to die. At most you'd have 20 years left. What is 20 years to a 75 year old? Why murk yourself? I'm not claiming to know anyone's struggles, but can life really be that bad? Don, you killed yourself in your home on Mulholland Drive. The fact that you can live on that street, in a house with the lights on and food in the refrigerator is a blessing. I understand that money and comfort aren't everything but, they do count for something right ? This man's death was a choice, I cannot muster up well wishes for him in the afterlife. I consider it this way: It is not your choice to be born, so it is not your choice to die. We've all been to the dark side in this life. I know depression, I know pain, but you've got to keep it all in perspective. There is a God and He will hold you accountable.
I am only saddened by the fact that no one was able to save this man from himself in time.
Call me what you want, but I only answer to God
Humble yourself. Count your blessings. Love your life (even the ugly parts).
Peace
I am only saddened by the fact that no one was able to save this man from himself in time.
Call me what you want, but I only answer to God
Humble yourself. Count your blessings. Love your life (even the ugly parts).
Peace
Sunday, October 23, 2011
blood and guts
grab me
thrust the edge of your palms into my eggshell chest
as if you are trying to break the seal
or just cut me open like a herring and pull out my insides
five fingers wrapped around my beating heart
there is no glory without blood
there is no unbreakable love without faith
...and faith is and ugly thing
when looked at directly in the face
it is frightening and obscene
you question yourself.
"why am I dancing with this monster?"
because it is only way to get to what you need, is the answer
thrust the edge of your palms into my eggshell chest
as if you are trying to break the seal
or just cut me open like a herring and pull out my insides
five fingers wrapped around my beating heart
there is no glory without blood
there is no unbreakable love without faith
...and faith is and ugly thing
when looked at directly in the face
it is frightening and obscene
you question yourself.
"why am I dancing with this monster?"
because it is only way to get to what you need, is the answer
Monday, August 29, 2011
Destroying is 'Homegirl'
Given my recent observations of Urbana Americana culture in relation to my creation as a woman I affirm the following:
I adore and respect my strictly platonic friendships with males.
I enjoy being a girlfriend.
I look forward to being a wife.
I vow to never be any guy's 'homegirl' ever again.
The feminine form of homeboy is also known as "the down chick". Down for anything and everything. A true friend...of sorts. Freedictionary.com offers this definition for homeboy: a male friend or acquaintance from ones hometown or neighborhood. This term quickly transitioned into feminine form and is now used by men and women.
When said between women 'homegirl' signifies a bond with another female; it is endearing and creates a sisterly connection between the two. However, when used by a male it can often reach the hearers ears half- dressed in ambiguity. Depending on the conversation the "homegirl" could be just a plain ole friend, a friend with benefits, an ex-girlfriend, or a woman that the male is courting in hopes of some sort of relationship.
As a culture we have hardly made up our mind on whether a friendship can exist between a man and a woman without warm feelings
Example:
One of my sister-girls (who we'll call) Nina dated a guy who had mentioned during their courtship that he had homegirls with whom he was close. She, trying not to display insecurity said nothing. Then like clock work they entered into an exclusive relationship and these homegirls started to overstep boundaries one after the other. Pining for the attentions of a man that in the past had flirted with them, "kicked it" with them, gave them a shoulder to cry on and maybe had even dated them at a one point.
If it were me I would have boogied my black ass out of that situation faster than a Maserati, yet Nina only managed to move like a 2001 stick-shifted Honda accord.
The problem was that none of these women really knew where they stood with him. Were they just friends or a little more? Some of these "homegirls" still thought they had a chance at Nina's spot and had no respect for her position as his girlfriend. They were merely part of his stable and Nina, at the time was just a prize horse.
Through this situation and others I hypothesize that 'homegirl' is just a name tag for a girl who really has no particular function or title. She is just...there. I've been a "HG" and pretty much every girl I know has been one too.
All things considered; my point is this. The best piece of advice that I can muster up for my Sistren today is not to get caught in some aqueous relationship with a guy that doesn't care enough about you to honor your womanhood and let you know exactly where you stand. Are you a friend? A lover? or his one and only. Esteem yourself and make him clarify
I adore and respect my strictly platonic friendships with males.
I enjoy being a girlfriend.
I look forward to being a wife.
I vow to never be any guy's 'homegirl' ever again.
The feminine form of homeboy is also known as "the down chick". Down for anything and everything. A true friend...of sorts. Freedictionary.com offers this definition for homeboy: a male friend or acquaintance from ones hometown or neighborhood. This term quickly transitioned into feminine form and is now used by men and women.
When said between women 'homegirl' signifies a bond with another female; it is endearing and creates a sisterly connection between the two. However, when used by a male it can often reach the hearers ears half- dressed in ambiguity. Depending on the conversation the "homegirl" could be just a plain ole friend, a friend with benefits, an ex-girlfriend, or a woman that the male is courting in hopes of some sort of relationship.
As a culture we have hardly made up our mind on whether a friendship can exist between a man and a woman without warm feelings
Example:
One of my sister-girls (who we'll call) Nina dated a guy who had mentioned during their courtship that he had homegirls with whom he was close. She, trying not to display insecurity said nothing. Then like clock work they entered into an exclusive relationship and these homegirls started to overstep boundaries one after the other. Pining for the attentions of a man that in the past had flirted with them, "kicked it" with them, gave them a shoulder to cry on and maybe had even dated them at a one point.
If it were me I would have boogied my black ass out of that situation faster than a Maserati, yet Nina only managed to move like a 2001 stick-shifted Honda accord.
The problem was that none of these women really knew where they stood with him. Were they just friends or a little more? Some of these "homegirls" still thought they had a chance at Nina's spot and had no respect for her position as his girlfriend. They were merely part of his stable and Nina, at the time was just a prize horse.
Through this situation and others I hypothesize that 'homegirl' is just a name tag for a girl who really has no particular function or title. She is just...there. I've been a "HG" and pretty much every girl I know has been one too.
All things considered; my point is this. The best piece of advice that I can muster up for my Sistren today is not to get caught in some aqueous relationship with a guy that doesn't care enough about you to honor your womanhood and let you know exactly where you stand. Are you a friend? A lover? or his one and only. Esteem yourself and make him clarify
pre... mortem
enough rope to bind
more pills than needed
blood and water mingled together
this is the scene
this is Hollywood's interpretation
that is complicated
and should be pared down
no decaying body in this case
no growing one either
a prick, a puncture and deep kiss/suck at the opening
pulled from there the whisper of immortality
more pills than needed
blood and water mingled together
this is the scene
this is Hollywood's interpretation
that is complicated
and should be pared down
no decaying body in this case
no growing one either
a prick, a puncture and deep kiss/suck at the opening
pulled from there the whisper of immortality
Feel like Im sixteen again
drawing big hearts on notebook paper with both our names in them
I keep writing these texts but I never ever hit send
is it butterflies a palpitation or just bad indegestion?
confused because I feel too old to be feeling like this
like a kid
and I think i might be too young to be feeling like this I'm older but im still a big kid
I like freedom on friday nights
i like to be out and about
but these days im all in my head instead
im still embarrassed because I know you saw me look at you
then look away
like i wasnt looking it you
but i know you say me
I feel like next time I see you Im gonna punch you in the arm
isnt that how we did it in grade school?
couldnt express our feelings
a love tap
and you'll know i meant no harm
drawing big hearts on notebook paper with both our names in them
I keep writing these texts but I never ever hit send
is it butterflies a palpitation or just bad indegestion?
confused because I feel too old to be feeling like this
like a kid
and I think i might be too young to be feeling like this I'm older but im still a big kid
I like freedom on friday nights
i like to be out and about
but these days im all in my head instead
im still embarrassed because I know you saw me look at you
then look away
like i wasnt looking it you
but i know you say me
I feel like next time I see you Im gonna punch you in the arm
isnt that how we did it in grade school?
couldnt express our feelings
a love tap
and you'll know i meant no harm
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